TESTING YOUR EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL MATURITY		1 = Not very true 2 = Sometimes true 3 = Mostly true 4 = Very true
PART A: General Formation and Discipleship
1.	I feel confident of my adoption as God's son or daughter and rarely question his acceptance of me.	1 2 3 4
2.	I love to worship God by myself as well as with others.	1 2 3 4
3.	I spend quality, regular time in the Word of God and in prayer.	1 2 3 4
4.	I sense the unique ways God has gifted me individually and am actively using my spiritual gifts for his service.	1 2 3 4
5.	I am a vital participant in a community with other believers.	1 2 3 4
6.	It is clear that my money, gifts, time and abilities are completely at God's disposal and not my own.	1 2 3 4
7.	I consistently integrate my faith in the marketplace and the world.	1 2 3 4
PART B: Emotional Components of Discipleship
Principle 1: Look Beneath the Surface
1.	It's easy for me to identify what I am feeling inside (John 11:33–35; Luke 19:41–44).	1 2 3 4
2.	I am willing to explore previously unknown or unacceptable parts of myself, allowing Christ to more fully transform me (Rom.7:21–25; Col.3:5–17).	1 2 3 4
3.	I enjoy being alone in quiet reflection with God and myself (Mark 1:35; Luke 6:12).	1 2 3 4
4.	I can share freely about my emotions, sexuality, joy and pain (Ps.22; Prov.5:18–19; Luke 10:21).	1 2 3 4
5.	I am able to experience and deal with anger in a way that leads to growth in others and myself (Eph.4:25–32).	1 2 3 4
6.	I am honest with myself (and a few significant others) about the feelings, beliefs, doubts, pains and hurts beneath the surface of my life (Ps.73; 88; Jer.20:7–18).	1 2 3 4
Principle 2: Break the Power of the Past
7.	I resolve conflict in a clear, direct and respectful way, rather than resorting to painful putdowns, avoidance,escalating tensions or discussing it with a third party rather than to the person directly. (Matt.18:15–18).	1 2 3 4
8.	I am intentional at working through the impact of significant events that shaped my present, such as the death of a family member, an unexpected pregnancy, divorce, addiction or major financial disaster (Gen.50:20; Ps.51).	1 2 3 4
9.	I am able to thank God for all my past life experiences, seeing how he has used them to uniquely shape me into who I am (Gen.50:20; Rom.8:28–30).	1 2 3 4
10.	I can see how certain "generational sins" have been passed down to me through my family history,including character flaws, lies, secrets, ways of coping with pain and unhealthy tendencies in relating to others (Ex.20:5; compare Gen.20:2; 26:7; 27:19; 37:1–33).	1 2 3 4
11.	I don't need approval from others to feel good about myself (Prov.29:25; Gal.1:10).	1 2 3 4
12.	I take responsibility and ownership for my past life rather than to blame others (John 5:5–7).	1 2 3 4
Principle 3: Live in Brokenness and Vulnerability
13.	I often admit when I'm wrong, readily asking forgiveness from others (Matt.5:23–24).	1 2 3 4
14.	I am able to speak freely about my weaknesses, failures and mistakes (2 Cor.12:7–12).	1 2 3 4
15.	Others would easily describe me as approachable, gentle, open and transparent (Gal.5:22–23; 1 Cor.13:1–6).	1 2 3 4
16.	Those close to me would say that I am not easily offended or hurt (Matt.5:39–42,1 Cor.13:5).	1 2 3 4
17.	I am consistently open to hearing and applying constructive criticism and feedback that others might have for me (Prov.10:17; 17:10; 25:12).	1 2 3 4
18.	I am rarely judgmental or critical of others (Matt.7:1–5).	1 2 3 4
19.	Others would say that I am slow to speak, quick to listen and good at seeing things from their perspective (James 1:19–20).	1 2 3 4
Principle 4: Receive the Gift of Limits
20.	I've never been accused of "trying to do it all" or of biting off more than I could chew (Matt.4:1–11).	1 2 3 4
21.	I am regularly able to say "no" to requests and opportunities than risk overextending myself (Mark 6:30–32).	1 2 3 4
22.	I recognize the different situations where my unique, God-given personality can be either a help or hindrance in responding appropriately (Ps.139; Rom.12:3; 1 Peter 4:10).	1 2 3 4
23.	It's easy for me to distinguish the difference between when to help carry someone else's burden (Gal 6:2) and when to let it go so they can carry their own burden (Gal.6:5).	1 2 3 4
24.	I have a good sense of my emotional, relational, physical and spiritual capacities and I regularly take time out to restore any depleted reserves (Mark 1:21–39).	1 2 3 4
25.	Those close to me would say that I am good at balancing family, rest, work and play.	1 2 3 4
Principle 5: Embrace Grieving and Loss
26.	I openly admit my losses and disappointments (Ps.3:1–8; 5:1–12).	1 2 3 4
27.	When I go through a disappointment or a loss, I reflect on how I'm feeling rather than pretend that nothing is wrong (2 Sam.1:4,17–27; Ps.51:1–17).	1 2 3 4
28.	I take time to grieve my losses as David (Ps.69) and Jesus did (Matt.26:39; John 11:35; 12:27).	1 2 3 4
29.	People who are in great pain and sorrow tend to seek me out, because it's clear to them that I am in touch with the losses and sorrows in my own life (2 Cor 1:3–7).	1 2 3 4
30.	I am able to cry and experience depression or sadness, explore the reasons behind it and allow God to work in me through it (Ps.42; Matt.26:36–46).	1 2 3 4
Principle 6: Make Incarnation Your Model for Loving Well
31.	I am regularly able to enter into other people's world and feelings, connecting deeply with them and taking time to imagine what it feels like to live in their shoes (John 1:1–14; 2 Cor.8:9; Phil.2:3–5).	1 2 3 4
32.	People close to me would describe me as a responsive listener (Prov.29:11; James 1:19).	1 2 3 4
33.	I have a healthy sense of who I am, where I've come from and what my values, likes, passions, and dislikes are (John 13:3).	1 2 3 4
34.	I am able to accept myself just the way I am (John 13:1–3; Rom.12:3).	1 2 3 4
35.	I am able to form deep relationships with people from different backgrounds, cultures, races, educational and economic classes (John 4:1–26; Acts 10–11).	1 2 3 4
36.	People close to me would say that I suffer with those who suffer and rejoice with those who rejoice (Rom.12:15).	1 2 3 4
37.	I am good about inviting people to adjust and correct my previous assumptions about them (Prov.20:5; Col.3:12–14).	1 2 3 4
38.	When I confront someone who has hurt or wronged me, I speak more in the first person ("I" and "me") about how I am feeling rather than speak in blaming tones ("you" or "they") about what was done (Prov.25:11; Eph.4:29–32).	1 2 3 4
39.	I rarely judge others quickly but instead am a peacemaker and reconciler (Matt.7:1–5).	1 2 3 4
40.	People would describe me as someone who makes "loving well" my number-one aim (John 13:34–35; I Cor.13).	1 2 3 4

TESTING YOUR EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL MATURITY


Results:

Interpretation Guide: Levels of Emotional Maturity

Emotional infant

Like a physical infant, I want other people to take care of me more than I seek to care for them. I often have difficulty in describing and experiencing my feelings in healthy ways and rarely enter the emotional world of others. I am consistently driven by a need for instant gratification, often using others as objects to meet my needs, and am unaware of how my behaviour is effecting or hurting them. People sometimes perceive me as inconsiderate, insensitive, and self-centred.

Emotional children

Like a physical child, when life is going my way and I am receiving all the things I want and need, I am content and seem emotionally well-adjusted. As soon as disappointment, stress, tragedy, or anger enter the picture, however, I quickly unravel inside. I interpret disagreements as a personal offense and am easily hurt by others. When I don't get my way, I often complain, throw an emotional tantrum, withdraw, manipulate, drag my feet, become sarcastic, or take revenge. I have difficulty calmly discussing with others what I want and expect from them in a mature loving way.

Emotional adolescents

Like a physical adolescent, I know the right ways I should behave in order to function in mature, adult society. I can feel threatened and alarmed inside when I am offered constructive criticism, quickly becoming defensive. I subconsciously keep records on the love I give out, so I can ask for something in return at a later time. When I am in conflict, I might admit some fault in the matter, but I will insist on demonstrating the guilt of the other party, proving why they are more to blame. I have trouble really listening to another person's pain, disappointments or needs without becoming preoccupied with myself, because of my commitment to self-survival.

Emotional adults

I can respect and love others without having to change them or becoming critical and judgmental. I don't expect anyone to be perfect in meeting my relational needs, whether it is my spouse, parents, friends, boss, or pastor. I love and appreciate people for who they are as whole individuals, the good and the bad, and not for what they can give. I take responsibility for my own thoughts, feelings, goals, and actions. When under stress, I don't fall into a victim mentality or a blame game. I can state my own beliefs and values to those who disagree with me without becoming adversarial. I am able to accurately self-assess my limits, strengths, and weaknesses and freely discuss them with others. As I am in tune with my own emotions and feelings, I can move into the emotional worlds of others, meeting them at the place of their feelings, needs, and concerns. I am convinced that I am absolutely loved by Christ and that I have nothing to prove.


Source: Scazzero P, Bird W, 2003. The Emotionally Healthy Church. Grand Rapids: Zondervan.
For more information contact New Life Fellowshipor Emotionally Healthy Church


Emotional and Spiritual Maturity